Confession & secret dreams

Carson the chatterbox still has a few speech impediments and quirks. One of them is that he cannot seem to pronounce the word “secret.” He says “swee-krit.” This is a post of dreams, confessions and sweekrits. Confession: sometimes I watch Oprah. THERE. I said it. It’s usually when Sydney takes a late nap and Carson is occupied. If it’s an appropriate topic, I may even leave it on when Carson comes in the room. It’s not very often, but often enough that once we saw the O magazine on the newsstand and he said, “Look, Mom! It’s your friend!” Hehe. [sheepish laughter] Don’t judge.
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ANYway, a few weeks ago I caught a part of an episode about people who are extremely successful in super fun careers. One was the Cake Boss (never seen the show, but heard it’s fun), one was a genius florist who designs amazing, over-the-top creations for places like the Plaza Hotel. One was a stunt woman. I didn’t see the other interviews, but the gist of it was: they all followed their dreams, and because they pursued something they LOVED to do as a career, they became successful. (Which, if I may tangent, is a big pet-peeve of mine with Oprah–her catch-all theology/philosophy/spirituality. She interviews all these famous people who say they just envisioned success, told the universe their desires and it came to pass. Huh? Now there’s a bunch of lovely people doing these very things and still working for minimum wage in a dead-end job. When is she going to interview them? Hey, I said I watched. I didn’t say I loved.) But for these few lucky ones on this particular episode, they managed to have their dream jobs and seemed giddily happy in life.
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I happen to be casually job hunting right now. Subbing is OK, but the sporadic nature of it is hard on me, my kids, and our childcare providers (aka: grandmas). I would love to have a consistent one-day-a-week job, or even 2 half-days. Combing through search engines and job web sites is a DRAG. I have acceptable skills in many areas, but exceptional skills in precious few. And no one is hiring for smart-aleck blogger–there’s a gazillion of those. The process, along with Oprah, got me imagining my secret dream jobs. My dream jobs are based on the ratio of enjoyment of the activity to amount of labor involved.
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Dream job #1: Be a singing cartoon voice.
My biggest dream job would include singing, because it is the activity that I enjoy the most that involves the least amount of hard work. I’ve been blessed to have a few occasions in my life where I got paid to sing, like weddings and such, and I’m not going to lie: it is great. Now, if I take the best part of that–the singing part–and take away the worst part of it–being in front of lots of people–then I imagine being the voice of a cartoon would be perfect! No one would be thinking about me, Brazenlilly, and what I was wearing, how my hair looked, or how pitchy I was, because I’d be in a studio able to do retakes and wear my sweatpants. DREAM. JOB!
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Dream job #2: Party planner for rich people.
It might not translate on the blog, but I actually really love planning my kids’ birthday parties. I love looking online at different party spreads and trying to mimic what I can. I love deciding on cupcakes and decorations. But there’s always one large problem that keeps me from creating the world’s most fabulous party–money. Parties that pull out all the stops cost a LOT of money. Even little po-dunk, backyard parties for siblings and cousins cost a lot of money. If I had the connections, I would offer my services to wealthy patrons who were willing to pay for the convenience of having a creative, hard-working mommy-type to throw a kickin’ party. Favors, special drinks, center pieces–the whole shebang. Baby shower? SO many ideas. Kid’s birthday party? HUNDREDS of theme options. Seriously, my mind is whirling just day-dreaming about this. So, if you know of anyone who fits the category, send them my way.
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Dream job #3: a writer. That gets paid.
In case you couldn’t tell, I love writing. Blahblahblah…I could do this all DAY! I process everything by writing. I can write for hours and be happy, other than tired wrists and shoulders. The reason I’m *ahem* one of the only one of my friends who still blogs on a regular basis is that I really, truly love expressing my thoughts and emotions about my crazy/boring life–especially my life as a mommy. I make time for it. My dream would be to be able to have these thoughts published–and actually get some money for them! Not those “publish your own book” deals that costs the writer $5K. Now, this dream I’ve actually semi-looked into. But to be honest? I have no idea how to go about it. If you want to drown in overwhelming internet blahblah, just google “how to get a book published” and spend 20 minutes. You’ll want to cry. I know I did. So, if anyone has any leads or suggestions on how to go about pursuing this dream, I’m all ears! But for now, I will continue to write my little brains out on this here blog, and you, all three of my readers, can read for free. It’ll just be my dream hobby.
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So, what is YOUR dream job?