The other day the kids and I were walking in a public place and I decided it would be a perfectly acceptable time to, well, I’m just going to say it: to pass a little–a LITTLE–gas. Victimless crime, no?
Enter: LoudMouth ThreeYearOld.
“MOM, you SMELL DIRTY!”
Huge fake smile, grab his arm and walk quickly away from anyone in ear shot.
“Hahaha! Carson, you’re so silly! What are you talking about!??! I don’t smell dirty!!!”
“YEAH YOU DO,” he sticks his nose right in my rear end, for which he happens to be the perfect height.
“YOUR BOTTOM IS STINKY!!!”
“Hahaha! No it’s not! You must be smelling Sydney! Maybe she’s poopy. You’re so silly!
Now shut up kid and keep walking.”
Just kidding. Thought it, but didn’t SAY it.
AAAAANNNNDDDD add that moment to the myriad of ways that motherhood has humbled me.