Originally posted June 9, 2012
I remember reading other travel-adopt blogs and somewhere around now the mamas say “She’s like a different kid!” Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but I would definitely say we turned a little corner today. This morning and at naptime, Asher woke up without crying. HUGE! For once we were not in a hurry to get out of the room, b/c he was not crying.
We headed back to the outdoor market for a few last-minute souvenirs, mainly a couple things for the kids. It was hard to shop with our little guy…which we knew it would be.
We get SO many funny looks and even comments when we are out and about with him. But it’s a lot easier and I feel much less judged now that he is calm and content, rather than crying and flailing. The subway is WAY less crowded on the weekend. But we were sitting next a beautiful Thai girl who had on sunglasses. Asher pulled the sunglasses off my head and put them on his face. (He’s done this a few times and seems intrigued by how it changes the view.) He then looked over at our neighbor and she laughed. Then the glasses slid down his nose and he was still watching her, so she slid her glasses down her nose. They played a copycat game for a few minutes and entertained all the passengers around us.
We got back to the room and actually felt like we could just relax in here without walking on pins & needles. Throughout the day, Saranasher has had several bouts of grief that come on pretty much without warning and can last up to an hour. But that is a marked improvement from just yesterday even. Trent went and picked up some lunch and Asher was just happy as a clam while we were eating. So happy that I got the camera and took some pics. He has the most amazing and adorable dimple. It’s just one, and it’s over and down from the side of his mouth on his left side. LOVE. IT!
Then we did the nap thing. He still cries at sleep time, but we have our routine down and he doesn’t fight it near as much. We get his big pink blankie and Minky and we all lay on bed and I sing. We do this at nap and bedtime now, and Trent was laughing that as much as I sing at church, he’s never just sat down and heard me sing for so many hours on end throughout our whole relationship!
After his nap we tried the pool again. He still was not interested in getting in, but this time we brought a beach ball and some squirty bath toys and he was slightly amused. He was happy and playing and we got some great pics. We headed back up to the room and literally by the time we got in, an unannounced storm had rolled in and the view was completely blocked by the monsoon rain. It was fascinating how quick and strong it came. Lighting and thunder to follow!
We had dinner in our room with the Brenemans tonight, b/c they are leaving in the morning. It was fun to just let Layla and Asher play together. These 2 kids whom we have thought about and prayed over and cried over and worried over and stared at…living and breathing and healthy and not hurt by the floods and….OURS! It was a great way to spend their last night here. I will miss them greatly, especially my dear friend Catie.
As they were leaving and we were saying goodbye, Asher got very agitated. I started walking them to the door and he became almost frantic. I closed the door and walked back to where Trent was carrying him and for the first time he clearly reached out for me. He was upset, panicked, for quite a while and we just stood there in the entryway, the three of us hugging and us trying to tell him that we weren’t leaving. It was a heartbreaking reminder that he is so very fragile. I’m worried that the several transitions over the next few days are going to mess with him a bit.
We gave him the dreaded bath (a teensy little bit less fighting, I think) powdered up, pj’s on and even through his strong crying, he didn’t even wait for us to tell him what to do, he just headed for the big bed where all his loveys were. We laid down and did our thing. I kind of entertain myself with the variety of songs chosen each sleep time. It’s a mix-tape, if you will, of nursery songs, lullabies, hymns, broadway show-tunes. Nothing’s off limits. Tonight I’m pretty sure we covered “You Are My Sunshine,” “How Great Thou Art” and “Tomorrow” from Annie. He was not falling asleep (but not crying).
BUT..I’ll never forget that as he was fidgeting and getting settled, he reached out his hand and rested it on my arm. Then he moved his hand to my hand and grabbed my finger. I opened my hand and held his hand, and he let me. It was the first time he’d allowed or initiated any physical touch while falling asleep. I could see his eyes and know he was still awake. Of all the songs I sang tonight, when that happened, I had just finished singing a song my dad used to sing to me when I went to bed, and I can’t think of any words to more perfectly capture my feelings right now:
Day by day and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear
He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best
Lovingly it’s part of pain and pleasure
Mingly toil with peace and rest