And not as in “of allegiance.” Let me explain. But first, a disclaimer. This is a rambling thoughts entry, NOT an blog announcement of any kind. Or “banouncement” as Mike coined the phrase.
Back to the ‘splaining. Every woman, upon announcing she is pregnant, soon learns that there is a mass sorority among us…the sorority sisters of motherhood. Of course, before having a child, we know that there is something special about motherhood, and we just haven’t chosen to take that step yet. However, I felt this strange and intense vibe coming from other mothers once I was pregnant. It was like they were giving me a secret look or handshake to let me know it was time for me to pledge to their sorority. And crazy enough, in the middle of that first trimester……THE HAZING BEGINS. You see, at different stages of motherhood, I think the sorority has a different name. There at just a few weeks of gestation, the name of the club is Phi Nausea Puka. The more morning sickness, swollen ankles or vericose veins you have, the more “points” you have in the sorority.
However, nothing–NOTHING–compares to the competition of labor and delivery hazing. I heard so many stories of horror from my new “sisters” that I wondered if there was a contest for worst labor that I didn’t know about. Once I was there in the hospital room, I could tell I was pledging for a new level of the sorority. Fortunately for my reputation in the new club, I had a long labor and a delivery that I wasn’t necessarily easy. And afterwards I could relate a little bit more to the story tellers. Because no matter how difficult the hazing is, the rewards of that particular hazing leave you with an absolute miracle in your arms and your heart lost forever, and you remember every second of it.
The first few weeks and months of motherhood are also fairly infamous in the motherhood sorority. That house is definitely called Alpha Smelta Poopi and the brother fraternity of Gama Lacka Sleepa. There are so many initiation rights during that first year, it’s hard to keep track. (But the smart sisters do keep track, so they can recite to their future pledges what they had to go through–you know, to ENCOURAGE them, not to scare them.)
ANYWAY, this week I felt I was having another pledge moment. Carson has entered into toddlerland and had some tantrums to prove it. Mealtime has become a battle, when he will whine and point for five minutes while I prepare something for him, and the moment I set it on his tray or try to give it to him he throws it to the ground or purses his lips and shakes his head violently. Then he immediately whines and signs that he wants something to eat. Aaaagh! But my hazing points came the other morning. I got puked on for the first time. Oh, I’ve been SPIT UPed on, but this was honest to goodness vomit. I froze for a second, and then had to laugh. Don’t worry, Carson wasn’t really that ill. Actually, he had a coughing attack that I think made him gag a little. Too much info? Sorry. What can I say? It’s a sisterhood characteristic.