Oh you guys. This is so embarrassing, I simply MUST share it with the world.
Today I had a major mommy fail moment. It was so ridiculous it was laughable.
First, I need you to understand or remember (depending on your season of life) what it is like to have a child who is BARELY potty trained. As in, the entire family of five are complete slaves to this child’s bladder. When he has to go–we GO. Doesn’t matter when or where. We drop everything and find a bathroom or else we have a puddle and, I’m telling you straight up, the Spiderman flip-flops will never, EVER smell the same again.
On Thursdays we take the big kids to school at 9:00ish, walk in, drop off, come back out, go straight to Bible study for 2 hours. I didn’t take Asher to the bathroom before study, and I don’t think he went while in the childcare room. Then, right when study is over, I rush upstairs and grab him, put him in the car and we race back to our side of town to wait for the kindergarten bus and get Sydney.
We were standing at the bus stop at 11:51, and Asher said he had to pee. And I believed him, because he hadn’t peed since about 8:30, which is a really long time in Barelypottytrained World. But the bus comes around 11:54. And it’s a good 7 minute walk from our house. And they don’t let kinders off the bus if the parents aren’t standing there.
Where we stand and wait is on a busy road, on a sidewalk next to a long fence. No bushes, trees, nothing. Not ideal, but I did what any desperate mother of boys would do. I told him he could pee by the fence.
And OF STINKING COURSE as soon as he gets his pants down and starts leaning against the fence (at, like, a 50 degree angle. It’s all very awkward at this stage), the bus comes around the corner. For some reason, I decided to COMPLETELY PRETEND like there was no half-naked toddler next to me in plain view. I just waved to the bus and smiled at Sydney as she made her way to the door. But the minute she got to the bus steps, her mouth dropped in confused horror. “WHY is Asher showing everyone his privates?!?!”
Reminder: in Barelypottytrained World, the children can’t really get their own unders and pants up and down without assistance. As I turned to see what Syd was looking at (like I didn’t know?!?) I realized that all the kids on the bus were also lined up at the windows pointing and laughing. And behind me? There’s Asher, underpants around those Spiderman flip-flops, facing us all and waving at Sydney in a state of undress for all the world to see…including all the cars now lining up behind the bus. He even tried to shuffle over to her for a hug.
I quickly ran over and pulled the pants up and led the kids away, ignoring the chuckling drivers in the cars. The crazy thing is, the episode barely phased the kids, while I was left to wondering when my Mother of the Year trophy will be delivered.