To three or not to three?

…that is the question. At least, that is a question that seems to have come up a few times in our house lately–whether or not we’ll have a third kiddo. Partly it is frequently under discussion between Trent and me, and also, Carson chimes in quite a bit about his desires. Fortunately, we are not at all in a crunch time, as we really like the age split between Carson & Sydney, & if we DO decide to “three” then we don’t need to get the ball rolling (so to speak) for quite a while.

The funny thing is, Trent and I always assumed we wanted three kids. Not sure why, just thought that was a good number for us. But now that we have these two…both of us have a surprising feeling of completeness. I think part of it is that we were sure we didn’t want an only child, so that has been solved. And also, for us, it’s been an added joy to experience a boy and a girl. But does that mean we’re done? We honestly don’t know! I’ve been given all kinds of input, from “If you don’t know if you’re done, then you’re NOT done,” to “You should never have more kids than you have hands.” We’re also open to (I wouldn’t even use the phrase “considering” because that would indicate we’ve done some research, which we really haven’t) adoption, but we’ve researched enough to know that there is a huge financial cost, and we’re not sure we can (or choose to?) overcome that. I won’t go into my list of pros and cons of having a family of five(this time–you know it will come up again!) b/c I think many of you know them–either I’ve shared mine or you have your own.

So, here’s how Carson’s mind has been working regarding this issue. This was a conversation we had in the car the other day:

Carson: Mom, when Sydney grows up and we get a baby brother, I don’t want to name him Max anymore. I want to name him Shasta.
Me: Uh, OK. That’s an interesting name. Where did you hear that?
C: I just thinked it up myself.
Me: I like it! But what if we don’t end up having a baby brother?
C: Huh?
Me: What if we just have 2 kids in our family?
C: No! I want a baby brother!
Me: Well, we just don’t know yet how many kids we’re supposed to have in our family. We need to pray about it.
(A few seconds of silence pass.)
C: Mom! There’s a policeman! Ask him. He’ll know how many kids we’re supposed to have in our family.
Me: Oh, honey, I don’t think he knows. He knows things about how fast we’re supposed to go and how to help people, but he doesn’t know this.
C: But who DOES know?
Me: Well, right now, only God knows.
C: Then we need to ask him.

Three days later at breakfast. Carson is the only one sitting at the table, the rest of us are buzzing around with morning business.
Carson: Hey! We need to pray.
Me: Okay. [We both pause and walk over to him for a quick morning prayer.]
Carson, very seriously: Don’t forget. We need to ask Jesus how many kids we’re supposed to have in our family.
Me, smiling: Okay, I won’t forget.



  1. Uh, I just prayed too and the Lord told me you’re supposed to have 3… 🙂

    Birdy and Carson are too cute and I know your third will be just the same!

    See you Wed.!

  2. “…have a surprising feeling of completeness…” i might be projecting my feelings onto things, but i’m inferring that fatigue may also be a factor (smile).

    however, despite my own presuppositions about maintaining and even if not greater parent to chid ration, i agree with beth.., carson and sydney are such precious gifts that three can sweeten the bunch!

  3. We are SO in the same boat right now, but for us, it is a time crunch.. I want them close, or not at all… so hard to decide! Life would definitely be much easier, leaving things as they are now, but it would be much sweeter down the road (maybe)… if we had one or two more… God it definitely going to have to make it clear for me on this one! Good luck!

  4. We were in the middle of this EXACT conversation when I found out that I was already 12 weeks pregnant with Silas. Uh, guessing game over. So, so, so glad God sent him to us. We might have chickened out!

  5. I always wanted 3 too…

    I think I got my answer when I was passing by little babies last week at Dworld and physically shuddering every time I heard that newborn cry.

    I think I’m tapped.

  6. Carson and I got to talking about brothers and sisters the other day in the car. I was telling him I was his daddy’s little sister just like sydney was his little sister, and that Uncle chad was my little brother. Carsons reply was that he didn’t have a little brother and mommy said she didn’t know if we were a three kid family or just a two kid family.

  7. MORE!

    It’s easy to make that decision for someone else. 🙂

    I have no doubt that the world would be a better place if it had more Bunch Babies.

  8. Oh, Carson. Ever the comedic relief! I don’t have much to say, b/c we’ve discussed this at length several times, but I’m with ya! The door will remain open to the possibility of a third, but I already feel good about having (almost!) 2 – even thought they’re both boys. Only time will tell… 🙂

  9. Coming from a family of 4 kids, I say the more the merrier! I’m so glad my folks didn’t just stop with me & Jess. Our home would have been so boring growing up. Plus now that we are adults, it makes get-togethers that much more exciting/chaotic, especially when adding the grandkids to the mix. 🙂

  10. do it – do it!!! get busy!!
    i can’t wait to meet my #3. it will be so wonderful to have another blessing & i know it would be for you. 🙂
    i won’t lie and say it’s gonna be easy, but later in life like ang said it makes the best family get-together’s ever! 🙂

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