That’s more like it.

This picture is kind of how I imagined having 2 kids would be like. Older sib would happily entertain and thrill younger sib, who would squeal and smile in delight for hours on end at the wonderful amusement while I snuck into the other room to remember what being productive feels like. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, my! Let me catch my breath after falling off the chair laughing at what I just typed. Truth is, this scene was so rare, that I almost tripped racing to get my camera to capture the occasion. I was reading an article in a parenting mag the other day (I DO miss reading a novel, but right now my reading time comes in 45 second intervals, so magazines have to do) that talked about mothers’ guilty secrets; like one mom confessed her daughter really didn’t turn out the way she had hoped–which was, basically, a mini-version of herself. That’s not my secret. Despite any complaints, I do love the little boy Carson is becoming. The other secret the article talked about was having a favorite child. The author made a good point in the fact that when there is more than one child, it’s hard not to draw comparisons and have a favorite. But, the good thing is, your favorite will change–day by day, season by season, hour by hour. And I really resonated with that. It took away some guilt I have the my precious eldest has driven me to drink (ok not really, but he has driven me to tears) out of frustration. When my 3 year old was yelling at the top of his lungs from his bedroom: “I WILL! NEVER! TAKE! A! NAP! NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER!!!!!” for 30 minutes straight, and my little 2 month old was laying in my lap smiling up with complete adoration–take a wild guess who the favorite was at that moment.
BUT, later when Sydney was finally asleep after fussing for an hour, and Carson was sitting in my lap making up hilarious stories about his imaginary dog and saying he was “Mommy’s boy, NOT Daddy’s boy!” I had a new favorite. After having kids, I have a whole new appreciation for unconditional love. I’ve never experienced anything that strong before in my life. Liking the kids may be a challenge (daily, sometimes) but loving them sure doesn’t seem to be.


  1. What a great posting, Jen. I would like to say “I feel your pain,” but I’m just too far removed from the day-to-day challenges (and joys) of raising small children. I so admire all you moms (and dads) of little ones. Once again, it is crystal clear to me why God delegated childbearing to young women–only you can gather the necessary energy to face each day.

    Yes, the lessons on unconditional love come in wild and mysterious ways every single day.

    The day will come when you’ll be reading novels again; but then you’ll be nostalgically missing the “classroom of love” that is mothering small children. (The good news: nostalgia is less tiring!)

  2. What great thoughts on favortism and how that varies…cause though I love both of my children with the same amount of love, there are definitely moments/hours/days, when I like one better.

    I’m glad you captured a sweet moment between the two little tykes. Pictures like this make it look easy. Maybe we should start posting blogs of the “not so good times” to give our non-parent readers a taste of the fun! :o)

  3. You are such a good writer. It does seem so unfair that YOUR child would fight sleep. Maybe he need some modeling from you on good nap taking? I read the same mag and I also thought it was interesting. I love you.

  4. Oh wow…. I can really identify with what you’re talking about. I’ve always been horrified by the fact that I sometimes have a favorite. And it’s like you were talking about; one child is freaking out (no doubt he/she is trying to become the next poster child for birth control pills) and the other is being positively angelic.

    Human nature is to gravitate toward the path of least resistance; to prefer the easy way. But still, as a mom, you feel such guilt….

    Thank you so much for sharing – it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

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